I don't know what's the trigger for today's commotion at the canteen and yesterday's commotion along the corridors.
Just scolded Louie for being rude to the CCA teacher, just scolded 4/3 to reflect on themselves (with Jacqui's video clip) whether they are making good use of their time, and yet these two commotions happened. Today, just as I was about to enter the Ladies, I saw part of this huge 'gang' commotion and witnessed how a few boys were gesturing and scolding at one another, with vulgarities, of course. A few of my colleagues were already there, pulling apart some parties and attempting to stop the fight that was about to begin, I hope. I just stood there and stared at them, doing nothing, but with
utter disappointment. My heart was in tears. Today is already the last school day before SA1, yet they must create such a huge trouble for themselves.
Unlike my usual self who would normally go and find out from reliable sources what happened, but this time round, I'm simply too weary to find out anything. I guess partly, I'm afraid to know the truth too. When I returned into the staffroom, my colleague, Miss Loi, asked me whether I had bought the home-made barley drink sold in the canteen today. I just flatly rebuked her, "Do you think I still have the mood to buy drinks when I see my pupils almost fighting?"
Indeed, later, I continued my lesson with a solemn face. Then, after school, Wei Ming and his friends wanted to ask me some questions regarding English summary and they insisted me to teach them in 4/5 classroom straightaway. I obliged. After the consultation, they suddenly asked me whether I would leave the school or not. I did not give them a definite reply. I only questioned myself about my ability in developing pupils' character. It's really very disheartening to see that the batch of pupils you have followed them for years still displaying unacceptable behaviour. I reproached myself, "Have I been indirectly condoning them somehow?" In the classroom, most of the boys I have been teaching for years still don't co-operate and let me proceed with the lessons smoothly, so why should I continue? Dexter commented that I am the last teacher standing by them throughout these years and he urged me to stay on till they graduated in sec 5. In my heart, I said, "Stay on for what? To witness my pupils' behaviour deteriorating? I don't think I can withstand such a blow."
