Reflection on Day 16

Qn: Honestly, are relationships my first priority?
Ans: Honestly, relationships with people is never my top priority, partly because I believe people tend to be unfaithful. Even if they can be loyal to you, circumstances change and this causes relationships to fade. Just like the way I'm slowly losing touch with my primary, secondary, junior college and even NIE friends. Hence, to prevent such a disappointment, I often remind myself not to commit deeply to any relationship, lest I can't take the emptyness of losing a friend.
In recent years, I also increasingly feel that only God's love for me is eternal and ever-present, which transcends all time and physical constraints, NOT even friendship. Hence, I often prefer solitude, which allows me to be in communion with God. God is forever there for me, despite my busy schedule and despite my sinfulness.
Until in Parish Assembly held at my church towards end of 2009, God sent Uncle Louis and Uncle Peter to tell me that spirituality is not only about your personal relationship with God, but it's also about how you spread the love you receive from God to others. I was stumped!

Qn: How can I ensure that relationships is now my first priority?
Ans: Having a mother who has a lot of hidden insecurity, I can only do my utmost to preserve my relationship with her. I had tried different approaches or 'schemes' to get a little freedom, but they all failed. Each time, we ended up in great agony, adding onto our emotional scars.
Fortunately, by the grace of God, my craving for freedom has somehow mysteriously disappeared. I no longer want to try to engage myself in activities in an attempt to escape from her. I now only pray that she has no more misunderstandings about me, that's all!

However, this means that I would have no choice but to regard friendship as less important. It's not that I don't appreciate true friends, or I don't need them, but it's just that I can't do much for them, given my unique family situation. I'm sincerely sorry, Angeline!