The Awakening 1

It was my first visit to the Catholic Welfare Centre library at Waterloo Street next to my church. I went there with two senior catechists. I was feeling rather upset deep inside my heart because of the conflicts I had with my mum earlier. She scolded me for not answering her phone calls when I had switched it on silent mode during a course. She accused me for desiring to be in different groups as her during the Chinese Bible class whenever we draw lots. I was most stunned and saddened by her false accusations. In the quarrelling process, she complained that the main reason is because I never place her in my top priority. Later, in retrospect, I realized this could be true and that is why I have seldom or never considered her needs, which adds on to her level of insecurity and anxiety. I do not have compassion for my mum and only think of defending myself whenever she accuses me.

During catechism class this morning, I asked my pupils to think of three guiding values in a family and surprisingly, one of them said humility and another said stupidity. Aaron then asked me whether I had gotten angry before. I mustered my courage and shared with them my ‘suffering’ the day before. After recounting my disagreement with my mother in tears, I told them that I initially thought that truth should be an essential value that governs all interactions within the family. But I now realize that love is the more important ingredient that binds a family closer together. If you sincerely love your family members, then you will not do anything to destroy the intimate relationships, not even fighting for your own justice. However, this is something I have failed to do and God was telling me through my pupils to be more humble and even to claim ‘stupid’ if necessary to maintain peace and harmony in the family.

On the same day inside the library, Agatha reminded me that what matters most is not doing all the big things or projects for Christ. But in fact, the tests of our faithfulness come in the form of whether we choose to obey Christ in all the small things that we do in our daily lives. That is truly an apt reminder for me, especially in all my communications with mum, which I must remember for the rest of my life as I dedicate myself to the service for God.