“I do not live anymore- it is Christ who lives in me. I still live in my body, but I live by faith in the Son of God who loved me and gave himself to save me.”
[Gal 2: 20]
Within these six months, I experienced God’s divine consolation and aid as well as the additional tests He bestowed on me. At the initial stage of the planning phase, through the Holy Spirit, God gave me the inspiration for the camp’s theme and the main programmes. However, when the camp was originally scheduled to be conducted during the March holidays, we received very little response. Only 3 students from Church of St Michael and 9 students from Church of St Bernadette registered for the camp. We had not yet invited students in our own catechism classes because we were then busy with preparing our students for the Stations of the Cross skit. We then decided to postpone the camp to end of May. After praying to Infant Jesus, the Lord generously blessed us with the participation of the entire CCD ministry from Church of St Bernadette. They brought in 98 students and 25 catechists to help us. Including Church of Our Lady of Lourdes Church of St Michael and our church, eventually, a total of 144 students took part in the camp and there were 52 adults helping. Isn’t this like the multiplication of fish and bread?
Initially, I only planned to conduct the camp for upper primary pupils in order to keep the camp at a manageable scale. However, it seemed that the Holy Spirit was nudging me through Patricia, the CCD co-ordinator of Church of St Bernadette, to expand the camp and open it to firstly secondary pupils and then followed by lower primary pupils. Although God gave me such challenges, He never left me alone to think of solutions. As time passed, I drew inspiration from other church activities and even from my school activities. That was how I thought of having Amazing Race for lower primary segment and the movie retreat for the secondary session. By the grace of the Holy Spirit, I also managed to think of ways to overcome some logistic constraints.
About a week prior to the camp, I felt totally beaten by stress and anxiety as the day to return my pupils their exam scripts drew near. At that time, I still had four sets of exam papers unmarked and the camp was going to be held on that Saturday, 23 May. There were some other things I had to prepare for the camp but I had not started doing them yet. Fear began to overtake me. I was afraid that I could not finish marking my exam papers on time and thus, could not do a good job in organizing and delivering part of the upper primary programme of the camp. Doubts of my own capability proliferated in my mind. Just when I was worn down by weariness and distress by these two seemingly insurmountable tasks, our Heavenly Father stretched out a loving hand, and let me came across two articles online that taught me immediately what I should do.
From these two articles, I realized that God measures each trial carefully before assigning them to us. He measures them out with the provision that you and I get a hold of His grace through that trial. To put it simply, each trial is weighed out in such a way that the Lord knows we can only go through it with His grace. The second article has convinced me to cry to the Lord for help “for the Lord is the strength of my life, of whom shall I be afraid?” (Psalm 27:1) Instantly, I knew just what to do- to pray to our Lord in great desperation to seek His grace, strength and wisdom. Indeed, the turbulent waves of anxiety calmed down in my heart after praying as I dismissed all disturbing thoughts and concentrated on the tasks at hand, one at a time. 
But that was not the end of God’s testing on me. When I returned to school on Monday, which was a Marking Day for teachers, my Head of Department (HOD) broke a ‘disastrous’ piece of news to me. She reminded me that the Principal had wanted all teachers of graduating classes to key in the exam results two days before the official deadline, which was by Wednesday instead of by Friday. I was utterly shocked and was totally weakened! All my renewed hopes shattered! As I climbed up the stairs to my secluded marking place, my classroom on the top floor, I could not hide my feelings anymore and literally scream out to the Lord in great despair! I cried out, “Lord Jesus! Why did you give me this cross to bear? How am I going to meet my marking deadline? What should I do?” I was about to break down in tears when suddenly a positive idea struck my mind: Maybe this is God’s way of helping me to manage my time. When the school compelled me to complete my marking and keying in of marks earlier, I could then focus all my energy to complete school work first and devote the last two days entirely for the camp preparation. Otherwise, I would still be multi-tasking throughout these five days before 23 May, without knowing which one to focus first. Once I switched my perspective to look at this apparently ‘harsh’ arrangement from a positive angle, I felt instant relief.
Praise the Lord! By the peace and strength of God that dwelled in my heart, I seemed to be able to mark more efficiently. By Wednesday evening, I was only left with about four compositions before I set off to church to help wrap the goodie bags. Till now, I am still puzzled about why I had mustered the courage to inform the Principal that my classes’ results would only be keyed in on Thursday morning and to apologize for the delay. I had never been so forthright to my superiors before, especially in admitting my shortcomings to them and seeking their forgiveness. To my pleasant surprise, the Principal just explained to me in a friendly manner the reason why she had requested for an earlier submission of marks for the graduating classes. Thanks be to God! I finally completed all the essential school work by Thursday morning, and could then attend the Ascension of the Lord mass in triumphant joy. I then had a peace of mind to devote my entire time on Friday after school to finish up the necessary camp preparation. Needless to say, with God watching over all of us during the camp, everything proceeded smoothly as planned on the actual day. I was grateful to God for granting our CCD ministry this accomplishment.
Organizing the second i-Paul Camp is the milestone and turning point of my life. I begin to experience for myself that nothing is impossible with God, and the grace of God is sufficient to help me transcend all barriers and self-perceived limits to my potential. I now truly appreciate what St. Paul said, “My grace is all you need, for my power is greatest when you are weak.” [2 Cor 12: 9] This trial has offered me the opportunity to feel the most vulnerable moment of my life so far, and thus has allowed me to witness God’s greatest power. I also feel that God is not only working in me, but is also working to unite and revitalize our whole ministry. All praises and thanks be to the ever-living God!
Organizing the second i-Paul Camp is the milestone and turning point of my life. I begin to experience for myself that nothing is impossible with God, and the grace of God is sufficient to help me transcend all barriers and self-perceived limits to my potential. I now truly appreciate what St. Paul said, “My grace is all you need, for my power is greatest when you are weak.” [2 Cor 12: 9] This trial has offered me the opportunity to feel the most vulnerable moment of my life so far, and thus has allowed me to witness God’s greatest power. I also feel that God is not only working in me, but is also working to unite and revitalize our whole ministry. All praises and thanks be to the ever-living God!
“My God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ
Jesus.” [Phil 4: 19]
“I sought the Lord and he answered me, from all my terrors he set me free.” [Psalm 34: 4]
References:
1) http://library.timelesstruths.org/texts/Treasures_of_the_Kingdom_45/Baby_Strength/
2) http://library.timelesstruths.org/texts/The_Handmaid_of_the_Lord/Accepting_the_Trial/
1) http://library.timelesstruths.org/texts/Treasures_of_the_Kingdom_45/Baby_Strength/
2) http://library.timelesstruths.org/texts/The_Handmaid_of_the_Lord/Accepting_the_Trial/
1 comment:
I'm amazed by the works of God :D
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